Vademecum to better manage a relationship with the mother-in-law after marriage. On the occasion of the wedding, he will have helped you in choosing the location, he will have accompanied you to choose the wedding dress. And maybe he also wanted to be present at your dressing. And the realization of your wedding makeup. We are talking about the mother-in-law, a legendary figure that after marriage could be as harmless as it is exaggeratedly present in your lives … But how can you do without it? It is no coincidence that amusing wedding phrases, the mention on the mother-in-law are a must! But let’s see how to manage it without too much difficulty.
The basis of all relationships, as well as that with your mother-in-law, must be respected. Try to attribute a role to yourself within your new family and give it the right importance. This means, for example, making sure that you receive the same information you give to your mother when it comes to a couple decisions that could also involve the in-laws. An example? The arrival of the children. To communicate to your parents who are about to become grandparents, choose an intimate moment in which you will gather the closest members of the family, in a situation of total equity: mother and mother-in-law will receive the happy news at the same time and the joy will be double and irrepressible.
Regarding our origins, distance is as important as proximity. And this is also true (and above all) for the mother-in-law. Avoid that, in a gradual and therefore imperceptible way, this figure of the family insinuates itself too much in your life, because when you realize it, it will be too late. “The dirty clothes are washed in your own home”, they say … and that’s right. Now that you have formed a family, you will have to learn how to manage your daily life independently, whether it’s shopping, cleaning your house, doing laundry, paying bills. And moving around by car. If before the wedding you have an involved mother. And mother-in-law in the choice of your wedding dress in lace, now you do not need help getting dressed in the morning (not even to do a washing machine with dirty clothes at the end of the day).
Try to be as clear as possible in communications with your mother-in-law. If you have a commitment and can not go to lunch with her, explain it to her without making unnecessary excuses. On the other hand, if you have agreed to spend a weekend together, ask them what are your intentions and wishes: what would you like to do, where would you like to go and at what time? Clarifying plans is very important, especially for mature people, who may follow different habits than yours. This will avoid you unpleasant complaints due to misunderstandings, especially when at the table you will run into conversations related to your future intentions as a couple (job ambitions, cities to live in, desired pregnancies or not): be 100% sincere, at the cost of provoking momentary displeasure … better give them time to metabolize them, rather than feed false hopes.
In certain situations, making the best of a bad game is the best solution. This is the case of the mother-in-law who just can not stand you, those who find a cause for blame in everything you do. It may be your lifestyle (most likely it is related to your work choices) or maybe it’s about stupid things like the time you spend cleaning the house, going out with friends, cooking and yes, even personal clothing (the you understood right away that your dress style does not like it, when you had turned your nose in front of your short wedding dress ). What to do then? Absolutely nothing. Let slip on criticism and “frecciatine”, like water on a rain cape, but without ceasing to be friendly and respectful.
But after all … be yourself!
It is important that you learn to know your mother-in-law: open your eyes and ears, because you may find that you have a common passion, whether it is a book or a movie, or spitting in the kitchen. Maybe you will teach her to cook that fantastic lasagna that she prepares from time to time and, while the meat sauce will be on the fire, you can watch together the fiction that your husband can not stand. On the contrary, there will be other activities that you do not share with her and on which you should be honest: ”
After you have figured out the situations mentioned above, you have understood that the management of relationships with the mother-in-law after marriage will not be easy. But you still have some reserve hope: that you continue to dedicate yourself to your husband as you should begin to do from this moment (and vice versa, it is clear) or that, in the case of “single mother-in-law”, has caught her your bouquet bride on her wedding day and now she is on some Caribbean island with a companion, enjoying the prize of her dexterity.